Let the Healing Continue!

As I get ready to leave NY and continue recovering in CA, I leave with mixed emotions. A feeling that can't be described with words or even understood within oneself. I've had an emotional week and experienced one of "those moments" when one starts to cry but yet you don't know what triggered it or if it's a happy or sad cry. All you know is that you're crying and it's not due to PMS!! I guess those moments will always be a mystery to me because the more I try to reason or understand the moment, the more it makes me cry/laugh.

I had my six week appointment on Monday with three of my doctors and even though my recovery is still slow and I have good and bad days, I'm on the right path and only time will truly heal the wounds. So here is a quick rundown of where I am today and some pros and cons. Happiness begins with your thoughts so let's start with some of the pros:

PROS:
~My incision is turning into a fantastically amazingly small hairline scar in some areas and Dr. Samstein impressed himself with his own work (let's hope this healing trend continues throughout the remainder of my scar).
~The bile leakage that originally put me back in the hospital has been absorbing week over week and we will continue to monitor it to ensure there is no further leakage inside.
~I've lost alot of weight and most of my clothes aren't fitting and I need new things. Okay, so David probably considers this a huge con but when else am I going to have such another valid excuse to shop?
~All my new medications are working well at this time and blood tests are looking great.

CONS:
~ I still have much healing to do and apparently I'm not the super quick fierce healer I thought I was. All the doctors say most people start feeling better at 3 months so I'm half way there. I'm starting to think that turning 30 had something to do with this...
~My ribs are shifting back into place and it causes much discomfort at random times.
~Sleeping issues still remain intact.
~It's still painful to sneeze, cough, make sudden moments, get up from a sitting or laying position and even laugh (and you all know that laughing is like a sport for me. I wonder if this is causing the crying! Since it hurts to laugh, my body auto pilots to tears instead??! Hey, it's possible and you've witnessed my other scientific discoveries so this isn't a crazy thought). Again, all this is normal and Dr. S said it can sometimes take 6 months or a whole year to be completely pain free.

Here is one thing where the doctors and I agree to disagree so I've made it into it's own category:
~Haven't found my appetite yet, but slowly working on eating what I can and taking it day by day. The doctors see this and all the weight loss as a con, but I see it as having a two for one deal handed to me. I helped my dad AND had a pretend weight loss surgery that I've always wished for! Who can argue with that! Lots of reasons proposed on what may be causing my poor appetite from my stomach not emptying properly which we saw from my last MRI this month or it could be the growth of my liver is possibly pushing on my stomach (but growth is good!!). Whatever the reason, Only time and much patience will heal this too.

Dad is doing fantastically well and everyone said that he would have much more energy than me after the surgery. Despite all the setbacks in ICU, his diabetes still a bit unstable and his blood levels still high, he really has discovered a whole new life. I sometimes think he's going to burst if he sits longer than 2 minutes and I love that he's so full of energy! All your thoughts and prayers have led us to this moment and we are so thankful for the miracle that has blessed us.

As dad and I both continue to heal and battle through our bad and good days, I share this scripture that Aunt Ana sent out this week.

"Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones. Courage doesn't always roar, sometimes it's a small voice at the end of the day that says I'll try again tomorrow." Proverbs 16:24